This is not a good thing
by RosesAreRed201
Summary: Kensi and Deeks' relationship has been getting stronger over the years. Kensi has built walls to protect herself from what happened years ago, but they are about to become insufficient- especially when Deeks is the one trying to break them. Deeks was perfectly content, at home with Monty, until he answered a knock at his door, and he was in no way prepared for what he saw.
1. Skinny Love

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING as sad as it is :( all characters that are not on the show are my own and feel free to comment. This story is a little bit different than most Densi stories. But the gist of Deeks being the knight in shining armor is the same just for a different reason.

So comment please and to all of you who don't like my story sorry I'm still new at this thing, but I'll keep the whole story on track and no grammatical errors hopefully. :) Ok so enjoy!

- Rosie

-—-—-

Deeks POV:

It was a really long case and man it was boring. I just got home from all the paper work i had to do and it's about two in the friggin morning! And on a way more horrible note i offered to do Kensi's too because she had some 'hot' date with some guy, Freddie I think was his name or was it Jeff? Eh it's not like I care... Aw who am I kidding! This is pointless! I can't stand it anymore. I'm jealous and I know it and it's aggravating me to no end!

I flopped on my couch next to the door.

"Monty, c'mere boy!" I smiled at my furry companion as he hauled his butt over from his puppy bed that Kensi bought him for Christmas. He really loved that stupid thing; well it's not stupid just a little comforting to know that Kensi cares about my furry best friend, I guess. Kensi and I have gotten really close after a really tough case for her, the one about her dad so now we now have our annual Friday movie night or after every long ass case. It usually ends with Kensi snoring in my ear curled into my side with the blanket on both of us. Not that I care I usually wake up early to go surfing but I fall right back to sleep after I see her.

I smiled at the memory of the first morning she woke up before me,

—Flashback—

I was sleeping dreaming of Kensi and I on the beach watching a little boy about the age of 2. Baby blue eyes, so blue the emotion of sheer happiness could be seen from the blanket we were sitting on. His dirty brown-blond hair a little wet from playing in the water with his older sister. She was an exact replica of Kensi, in looks and the way she acts. Even down to the Kensi glare I get when I used to tease he, well technically I still do that, but that's beside the point.

I looked back to see what trouble my little ones were getting into, knowing them it would be almost as bad as when Kensi and I got, still get, in trouble.

Jeremy was playing by the edge of the waves in the sand when he decided to go over and tackle his older sister who was making a sand castle with shells and pretty rocks on the beach just above where the waves were crashing. He toddled over to her. He then proceeded to grab her hand and drag her to the water so she would play with him,

"Jeremy!" She giggled; she was about the age of 6. She was wearing a two piece suit, one with frilly pieces on the top and it was pinky purple almost a maroon color, she was wearing a cute sundress over it as well. Her reddish brown hair was in two pigtails tied up with little bobbles. While her brother dragged to the Pacific Ocean she was wearing a million dollar smile one that could light up even the darkest of room, she was missing her front tooth making her more adorable to me. Her smile went all the way up into her miss-matched hazel and black eyes, she had the exact same eyes as Kensi though Kensi's were a little more brown while hers had a bluish tint from me.

The little boy whose name was Jeremy giggled at his older sister and splashed her while running back to me and Kensi.

"Daddy! Jocwin gonna git meh!" Jeremy spoke in his two year old gibberish and giggled while tackling me to the sand as he jumped. Making me laugh at him as Jeremy 'tackled' me to the sand on the beach. Kensi was laughing at her son as he attempted to tackled me,

"Oh Jeremy," Kensi laughed next to me as she went over and tickled Jeremy, "Jocelyn won't get to you," she told him with a wide smile as she looked down at him on top of me.

"Fwy not mamma?" Jeremy asked with a puzzled look on his chubby two year old face.

"Because buddy, I'VE GOT YOU!" Kensi squealed as she launched into the air and tackled him to the sand right from off of my chest where he once sat. I smiled as I realized that she had tackled him being as she was almost faster that Hetty taking out a letter opener on Granger. And the look on his face when he realized what was going on was oh so priceless.

"Mamma NOOO!" Jeremy was laughing as Kensi tickled him.

Jocelyn came over to see why her mom was tackling her younger brother. She was ringing out her pig tails as she walked over to us, a little smile on her face.

"Daddy?" I looked over at my lovely little baby girl, though she wasn't so little anymore.

"Yah baby girl?" I questioned her with a huge smile on my face knowing she was gonna ask what her mother was doing and why.

"What's momma doing to Jeremy? He's turning blue from laughing so hard, Daddy!" She looked upset but happy at the same time. She turned back to me with a little smile and tackled me to the sand just like her brother, I had a feeling that they had planed that while playing in the water.

I began to laugh at that thought knowing it was most likely true. I watched as she crawled off me and onto the sand to get up and see her mom.

"He's fine, girly, mommy's just playing with him while she can," I looked over at Kensi and Jeremy, his face was Turing a little blue but he was fine.

"Hey Kens? Would ya stop suffocating the kid? He needs to breathe. If he is to be as friggin awesome as me." I smirked as she looked up with the glare that could only be hers, the ones she uses to crack the bad guys she doesn't shoot in the family jewels.

"Sure. No prob, I just love em so much! And don't swear in front of little people," She gave Jeremy raspberry on the stomach as she picked him and brought him over to me and dropped him in my arms, in a non-lethal way of course.

I smiled at my son.

"Hey bud, you ready to wake up!" I was puzzled. I looked back at Kensi only to see that she was fading away taking my two sweet angels with her. I launched up to run after them but I just felt like I was getting hit constantly and by what I had no idea. I began to hear voices. One that sounded very familiar.

"Deeks," it said quietly, "Deeks wake up," it said louder this time and finally it just screamed,

"WAKEUP DAMNIT! DEEKS!"

I shot up breathing heavily as I tried to regain what the hell was going on and protect myself from the pillow Kensi was whaling on me with.

"Ow! What was that for? What did I ever do to you? Jeez!" I complained and whined like a two year old realizing who I sounded like I got quiet.

"Deeks," it was Kensi who had been calling my name apparently and I looked at her from under my arms that were protecting my face,

"What happened last night? And what were you dreaming about that was so good you wouldn't wake up and drooling on me" Kensi glared at me with a little bit on curiously behind it in her hazel-black eyed mix.

I blushed at the thought and memory of how it felt to be in the dream. It was a damn good dream and I never wanted it to end. I felt a sharp pang to my heart knowing that it would never ever happen. I mean who could love a guy like me; cop, surfer, blonde-haired guy with a cocky attitude. I mean come on. Kensi's type is clean cut shaven, guys in charge, guys who are Marines, not a guy like me.

I looked down mumbling something about being sorry as I got up from the couch and started towards the door, throwing off the blanket that and been on both me and Kens, when a hand stopped me in my tracks making me turn around to face her,

"What's wrong Deeks? You know you can tell if you want too, I won't mind. And why the hell were we on the couch I thought you went home." I looked at her like she was crazy; my cheeks burned and were turning a darker crimson.

"It's ok and to answer that, Fern, you," I pointed my first finger at her "fell asleep on me" I pointed at myself, smirking at her. "Oh and don't forget the drooling too, missy!" I added the drooling part to get a rise outta her, cause we all know that it is really fun.

I smirked at her as she stuttered trying to come up with a good excuse as to why she did, but she had none so she chose to go with the truth,

"You were warm and I was tired so I fell asleep, whatever. It's not like I haven't done it in the past," she looked satisfied with her excuse though it was true and not a lie.

I smiled at her the way she thought was cute, well from what I heard from my buddy up in OPS.

"Really now?" She looked down red dusting her high cheeks.

"Maybe..." She shrugged and sat back down next to me on the couch seeing as she was up and whaling on me with a pillow. She leaned into me a little being as she was still tired from the case.

"Alright Kens what gives." I raised my eyebrow at her waiting for an answer being as she never willingly leans into me, ever. I carefully wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer.

She leaned farther into me and grabbed a fist full of my shirt while turning her head into my neck her hot breath fanning my neck.

"Nothing it's just..." She trailed off leaving me hanging and questioning what the hell was going on.

"Keenness? What's wrong, baby girl?" I knew she hated being called that and I wasn't going to let a chance to tease her about slip away.

She sniffled a little next to me surprising me and clutching my shirt more, like a lot! Something was not right at all.

"Baby girl, what's wrong, and don't you dare say you're 'fine' when clearly that's not true," I turned to look at her, I had never seen her cry or even show an ounce of fear or even sadness, so I was being thrown through a loop.

"The case," she cut off there waiting for an answer,

"What about the case, sugarbear?" I had a bad feeling that this was not going to be good.

"The case reminded me of how good I had it, my childhood I mean. My father would take me hiking; he would do anything for me practically. Just thinking about those who didn't have it as well makes me feel guilty and aggravated at how a person could do that to his wife or kid," she looked up at me tear tracks going down her face, make up all smudged,

"Not all kids are as lucky as you were," she snuggled closer to me, waiting for me to elaborate on where it was that I was going,

"Well, what about you?" she mumbled into my shirt surprising me a little, "how was your family? You never talk about em." I knew she meant no harm but it still stung to think about the bastard.

"Well let's just say its better left unsaid," I really didn't want to talk about him, but if she really wanted to know I'll tell her.

"Deeks? What happened?" Man I was really hoping she wouldn't ask, "Please Deeks, tell me, sorry if I'm prodding but I want to know more about you, if that's alright with you," I sighed and breathed an unsteady breathe knowing that this was it.

"Ok, I'll tell you but only the short part of it ok, only until when I was eleven because it gets boring after that." I knew that if I was to tell this story that I have told no one than I should ask the forbidden question about her,

"Ok, I can deal with that," she smiled at me making me smile back. I thought about what I could get from her.

"I'll only tell you if you tell me," I paused, "about…Jack," she noticeably stiffened and I tightened my grip on her so she wouldn't get up like I knew she was going to try to do. She sighed and leaned into me more,

"Fair enough, I'll tell you but no judging or laughing, it's really not a funny story, I guess." I nodded.

"So do you want to go first cause I really don't want to go…" she looked at me asking me if I willing to share first.

I shuddered at the thought of my bastard father, if you could even call him that, a father is the opposite of what he was, him being dead from a car crash in 97'.

"…I guess I'll go first but be warned this is not a walk down memory lane, more like nightmare lane, ok?" I looked for the ok, I was secretly hoping not to have to tell her today but whatever I say I hope her view of me doesn't change.

"You know what Deeks? Don't tell me unless you're ready to and from the look on your face I don't think you are, so don't tell me, ok?" I looked back at her shocked she let me off the hook, which is something she rarely does, ever.

"But I will tell you about Jack, it might be good for me to get out," She peered up at me waiting for an answer.

I nodded saying it was ok for her to proceed to tell me about her ex-fiancé, just thinking about someone leaving her on Christmas was completely absurd, I mean who could leave her?

"Ok so I met him on the pier by that awesome coffee shop with those really yummy muffins…when I met him I wasn't in one of the best of moods and I was shoving a muffin in my mouth, crumbs flying everywhere. He just came up and talked to me about the weather making me laugh at him," she stopped there and laughed a little at the memory when she was happy, "so after that we went out a few times for drinks and he finally asked me out for dinner and after that we just hit it off and we went to many more dinners and the rest was history. Then he went to Fallujah…" she stopped getting a small film over her eyes as she was recalling the memories, "So he came back and he wasn't the man I had fallen in love with on the pier. He would lash out and yell at me for no reason. Sometimes he would go back to when he was in Fallujah enforcing the curfew. That was what scared me the most, he would yell at me like I was one of the people not listening and he would grab me and shake me trying to get me to 'listen'. Then he would snap out of it when I start to cry out of fear and he would apologize thinking it was ok. For weeks I helped all I could, his meds, his therapist, everything I could do. But on Christmas morning I woke up to a cold left side of the bed where he usually tossed and turned, but he wasn't there. He was gone, everything was gone. I was planning on telling him something important but he was gone so it meant nothing any more, well she did but he was gone and he couldn't help me anymore,"

She stopped. I wondered what she ment by 'she'

"Kens?" she looked back up at me,

"What do you mean buy 'she'?" I had an inkling but it didn't seem right but I didn't know.

"I was 2 and a half months pregnant with a baby girl. He was fine the first week he was home then he changes so I had conceived her within the first week of him being state side. " I was shocked. Kensi had a baby girl. Wait where is she now? Don't tell me she had an abortion or gave her away.

"When I was 6 and a half months pregnant, I was in a horrible car accident and I went into a mini coma but because of how the car impacted me, my little baby girl died and I had a miscarriage. I lost the one thing I cared about. I had even finished her room had her name picked out and everything. I was eating right and yet I lost her. And now l'm all alone because I didn't-couldn't save Jack and some drunk ass hit me with a car killing my baby..." She stuttered and looked at me with tears rimming her beautiful eyes ready to fall at any moment. She searched my eyes looking for an answer or something. Her eyes were clouded with tears but there was something else behind it, fear.

"Kens...I know it sucks but out of curriosty what was her name?" I questioned as I watched the first tear fell and the rest follow. I reached my hand up and brushed the pad of my thumb across her cheek to wipe away the tears that had fallen. Letting her know I was there and I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Her name way Angel Marie, Angel because she was all I had left and Marie cause of my mum." She held me tighter as she cried silent tears.

"Kensi I know that losing her was hard and losing Jack too, but Kensi you never have and never will be alone, you have me if that is enough for you and you know that you can ask me anything," I smiled at her. She smiled back at me for the first time in a long time that night.

— Flashback End —

I smiled at the memory remembering how she felt in my arms but knowing that she lost Angel and Jack it made me feel better knowing that she had someone in her life before she joined NCIS. Sadly I also know that losing them both is what caused the walls around her to be built, so she would never feel that hurt of losing her fiancé and baby. It was then that I knew then that I had fallen hard for her and there was no going back. I frowned slightly at the thought of someone else's arms around her, comforting her like I did, that was not going to happen. My hands clenched at that thought of anyone else holding her but I knew that she would never like a surfer guy like me.

So now I'm lying on my couch, the beds too far, just about to drift off to dream of me and Kens on that beach again when I heard a shuffle of feet and a knock. I got up and grabbed my beloved gun and went for the door but what I saw was not want I wanted to see, ever. Especially not her.

Ok so cliffhanger! Yah I know y'all are gonna hate me for it buuuuttt here's a sneak peak! Oh and by the way the story will be about 20 or so chapters maybe and there will be Nell and Eric moments as well and any other pairings that you want me to add. I'm thinking about doing a case in the story so any ideas/names for the case would be great an feel free to correct me on any mistakes.

—Preview of what to come next in This is So not good—

"Deeks," I looked up at her as her eyes became to cloud up and spill over onto her olive skinned cheeks "Deeks help me" she pleaded before she paled and her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell forward into my arms like dead weight.

I held her like a child whispering and begging here to come back to me, at he same time wondering what happened to her. But one thought passed my mid more than once.

Where was my Wonder Woman?

— End Preview —

It's not much but it hopefully will catch your attention :)

Ok so can anyone guess what happened and whose at the door? Give ya a hint he was mentioned in this chapter.

Sorry again! I have a question about Jeremy and Jocelyn and if i should incorporate them into the story? Maybe case gone wrong? Or someone close dies and they are left with them but I'm also thinking something that has to do with the guy mentioned above in the story.

Alright I'll quit bugging you! :)

Enjoy you day and btw first story don't know if it's going to go anywhere so helpful tips are appreciated greatly!

Peace out

- Rosie


	2. AN:Please read it will be clearer why

**A/N: OK I KNOW MOST OF YOU HATE THESE THINGS SO I'LL MAKE IT BREIF! I haven't been able to update because I have been crammed with homework. Also I have been working on the second chapter and its taking a little longer than I anticipated so it might be a few days.**

Also I have had a lot of family issues. Most of you heard about the Boston Bombing? Well my baby sister, Paige, was running in the BAA marathon the day before and it hit me a little harder than I thought. I was in San Diego two thousand miles away and wasn't coming home for another week. I wasn't there to comfort her or my family. They were supposed to go and watch the day it happened but couldn't because our car battery ran out. I know many were affected and it sucked but I am from Boston and we know how to "**DIG DEEP AND CONQUER**" as my uncle would say so we will be strong.

I just want you all to know that I might be adding in something about the Boston Bombings so I will give you fair warning before the chapter begins due to the fact it might be graphic.

**And if I add any M rated things I will let you know.**

Also I just want you all to know that if you have any ideas for the story feel free to comment or message me I will most likely answer that night sooooo yah!

I love you all and thank you for sticking with me even though Authors notes suuuuucckkk so I will not (hopefully) be doing another one of these!

Oh and the general idea for the **second chapter **is

**-Kensi goes on her date with some guy her best friend from Camp Pendleton set her up on**

**-She sees Jack on the way there and talks to him**

**-She says something wrong he gets mad (Might be M rated not sure yet) **

**-She runs to Deeks and he comforts her **

So that's all I have for now that I can give to you, there might be a few surprises in this chapter. Though **any ideas are welcomed** and just to be clear that's** for the whole story**.

I will try to update by maybe Wednesday of this week and **I will do my best to do that every week** if I can, so thanks and Love to you all,

-ROsiE


	3. Deeks' childhood

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING as sad as it is :( all characters that are not on the show are my own and feel free to comment. This story is a little bit different than most Densi stories. But the gist of Deeks being the knight in shining armor is the same just for a different reason.**

**So comment please and to all of you who don't like my story sorry I'm still new at this thing, but I'll keep the whole story on track and no grammatical errors hopefully . :) ok so enjoy!**

**- Rosie**

**Ok also I used an idea given to me through my reviews and I hope it's ok and it was in Italian, from Densilou so I hope I translated right, I'm not fluent in any way so if I miss translated SORRY!**

**Ok so on to the story ENJOY!**

* * *

Chapter 2

Deeks' childhood

Deeks POV:

* * *

I opened the door to see Kensi, and it was not a way you ever want to see the one you have fallen in love with.

Her dress was could no longer be called a dress more like rags from how ruined it was. Her eyes looked frightened and almost dull but they were wide open so I could see her black birthmark in her eye along with hazel.

Her dress was the one she used on the OP today to get some scum bag who was beating his kids and ending up putting his wife, Ella, in ICU because of hard he threw Ella, down the stairs to get away from Sam and Callen. Sadly it was one of those cases that hit everyone really hard but me especially because of my abusive father until I was eleven.

I cringed at the memory of my father but I realized how bad this could really be and looked up and into her eyes

"Deeks," I looked up at her as her eyes became to cloud up and spill over onto her olive skinned cheeks "Deeks help me" she pleaded before she paled and her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell forward into my arms like dead weight.

I held her like a child whispering and begging here to come back to me, at he same time wondering what happened to her. But one thought passed my mid more than once.

Who the hell did this to her and took away my Wonder Woman?

At the date hours before she landed in front of Deeks apartment at 2 o'clock in the morning

* * *

At Kensi's house

Kensi's POV:

* * *

My best buddy from camp Pendleton, when I was there with my dad years ago, Haile set me up on this date with this hot guy whose name was Marcus Bentley, and I told Deeks his name was Freddie just to mess with him.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy white towel around me, much like during the case when Deeks and I had to be Justin and Melissa.

Haile told me that he is a nice man, and also a Marine stationed in Los Angeles for the past few years. He's outdoorsy, clean cut and every thing that Deeks is not, so I felt better knowing he wouldn't tease me about my dating preferences, that man has no idea how much of a pain in the ass he is!

Even though he is a pain he's always there for me especially during the case with my dad's murder, he hid me from Granger, and helped me get revenge on the bastard who took my dad from me. I wish Deeks had a life like mine, I sighed at that thought, Deeks may be an ass sometimes but no person deserves the child hood he got. I sat back down on the side of the tub as I remembered the memory of him telling me of his child hood, it was after the case when he and I had to protect a informant for Mexico, Javier,

* * *

—Flashback—

Kensi's POV:

* * *

_"Are you really a kid hater?" Deeks asked me looking at me with a disappointed face_

_"Actually no I am not. Remember I had a baby for 6 months growing side of me? I was excited for Angel I couldn't wait to meet her, honestly? I miss her. I got to hold her once, she was in my arms but she was cold and unmoving because she died on impact. The worst part of it all was I had already picked out the outfit she was gonna wear home from the hospital" I sniffled a little at the thought of her little baby in her arms. I knew that I should be sort of over it but she was the only family I had back then, not even mother knew about her now, Deeks knows more about me than my own mother._

_"Just out of curiosity," I cut him off with a snide remark,_

_"Curiosity killed the cat you know, well in your case, the idiot," I smirked at him seeing a small smile on his face knowing there was a simple under meaning to my remark._

_"Really, Kens? Really? Jeez I don't know why I even try!" He said completely exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air, wide grin stuck on his face, as if it were super glued there._

_He looked so happy just chilling with me talking and bantering along, I began to forget what we talking about until he reminded me,_

_"Kens..." He dropped of after that but I knew what he wanted to ask, at least I hoped I knew,_

_"No Deeks, she doesn't know about Angel," I looked away ashamed that I yet to tell my own mother that she had a granddaughter who died at three months premature due to an accident._

_I shifted on the couch, towards him, the heat radiating off of him was alluring and I wanted more, the thought of my baby girl chilled me to the bone._

_Deeks looked at me giving a look, one I could not decipher,_

_"Deeks, why are you staring at me like that?" I was a little worried about what he was going to say,"I wanted to tell her, okay? But I couldn't tell her after what I put her through when I left her for dad. Why would I tell her that she had a granddaughter who would have been 7 years old by now but died because I wanted chocolate from the gas station!" My voice rose as I got more upset about Angel. The tears began to collect in my eyes, I no longer had any control of the tears as the fell down and over my olive skin. I became very aware of the strong arms around me as he pulled me in, I shifted closer to feel more of the warmth he was radiating, his ocean and sand smell drew me closer, like a protective barrier from the world._

_I began to shake and shudder in his arm as he comforted me, my I could tell he wanted to know something else by the way his eyes looked as I look into them. I always believed that if you tried hard enough you could make your eyes show the emotion you wanted, lust, anger, happiness, and even love but it only worked on my eyes once and a while. But in his ocean blue eyes his face betrayed the emotion that was showing in his eyes, and even if I wanted to deny it, it was there, Love. He cared about me and it was then I knew that I could move on from Jack and onto the man holding me and protecting me from my demons that kept me up at night._

_"Can you tell me about your childhood, now? You said 'Really, you want to play the crappy childhood game with me? Or something like that I can't remember. Please Deeks. You know so much more about than I do about you, please," I look up at him from under the curtain of hair that covered my bloodshot, tear filled eyes._

_Deeks drew in a shaky breath at the mention of his childhood and shuddered slightly against me, he shifted a little drawing me closer, if that was a all possible, I was practically on his lap._

_He began to open his eyes a little bit as he let out the breath he most likely didn't know he was holding in,_

_"Okay, I will tell you but Fern ," I snorted at he nickname he had deemed as mine, he smiled next to me but that smile soon faded into a tight line as he began his story,_

_"This is no walk in the park, Kens," I knew it was not easy for him to tell me, but I also knew that he trusted me, so I did my signature punch to the shoulder, so he knew he wasn't getting out of this. I had waited a few months to ask, but I never did because I didn't know weather or not he meant it._

_"You're not getting out of this, Deeks" he laughed slightly knowing there was no way in hell I was letting him not tell me after I had practically opened up to him completely._

_He sighed again, breathing in and out to calm his most likely erratic heart,_

_"I know, Fern," he looks down at me with a weak smile,_

_"I will not judge you Deeks I promise!" I smile at him as he breathed out, again._

_"Okay, so my mom was about 20 when she met my dad at a bar, and back then he wasn't an alcoholic, he just liked his beer. My mom was a sweet, and beautiful woman from what I heard from my aunt, her sister, but when my dad and her got married he turned on her. He used to hit her with just an empty beer bottle, until she told me that she was pregnant with me, she told him when she was about three months along, he stopped hurting her and played the happy expecting father," Deeks stopped to take in a hard breath. He had a look of anger mixed with fear._

_My heart was beating so hard against the inside of my ribcage I think it's going to break out of it. I knew I had to tell him to stop, I don't want him to tell if he's not ready,_

_"Deeks, don't do this to your self, please stop, don't," I looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to stop before he goes into a dark hole where he found his undercover identity, 'Max' the one just like his father._

_"Kens its okay, I need to tell you this. Okay so where was I?" He tapped his chin with a smirk on his scruffy face,_

_"Oh right, happy expecting father! Okay so after I was born on January 8th at the early hours of morning, my mom was so tired and worn out because apparently I had been a breached baby, I came out feet first, I was also 8 weeks premature, and I had a slim chance of survival through the night. My aunt, Mary, told me when I was six that the morning that I was born after the doctors told my mom about my chances of survival, my mom cried and begged me to survive. My aunt Mary said the sobs coming from my mom were so heart breaking that her own heart began to shatter. I went home after about two weeks in the hospital, and I was healthy enough to be taken home. Life was good for 9 years, including from the time that my mom told my dad that she was pregnant with me until my eighth birthday, then it all went to shit."_

_ Deeks stopped after that looking down at me, tears in his ocean blue eyes. I reached my hand up and let it rest on his jaw, I gently swiped my thumb back and forth as to comfort him a little. He brought his hand up to cup mine and took it to his mouth and gave my hand an open mouth kiss, letting me know he was okay to certain point. He kept on kissing my hand, the tears began to cloud his vision as they rolled down his scruffy cheeks. _

_He let out a shuddering breath and continued his terrifying story,_

_"Okay so on my eighth birthday, my mom got me this cool new blue bike, the one I had wanted for weeks then. My dad came home that night, beer bottle in hand and a whiskey in the other hand. He said that he had gotten laid off and it was my mothers fault and that's why he was drinking again. She begged him not do anything rash, but she knew what was coming, he hit her over the head with the whiskey bottle, shattering it on impact. My mother cried out and I came over to help her up, I knew that my eyes were wide and frightened but I didn't care I just wanted my momma..." He trailed off, wiping a stray tear. I knew that Deeks' life sucked but i never knew how hard it really was and he wasn't even a teenager yet. I urged him to stop, but he would just wave me off saying that he could continue,  
_

_"When I was about eight and half, the beating were getting so bad that my mom would pass out due to being struck in the head so hard and punched and kicked. My dad would use all the money that my mom worked for and just buy alcohol and sometimes even weed. He didn't care about me but I was good with that, until he got tired of my mom and whacked me upside the head with his fist. The beating would leave me bleeding almost to death in my room. Many times I welcomed it and wanted the pain to go away and to have my dad back, the one who played baseball with me in the back yard, built forts out of blankest, made a fort in our back yard." _

_Deeks took a long deep breath and a chill passed through him and I could feel it make its way down his spine,_

_"When I turned eleven and a couple months, my dad, if you can even call him that," He muttered the last part of the sentence so low and quiet I almost didn't catch it, but I did,_

_"Deeks?" He looked down at me questioning what I had to say._

_"Yeah, Kens?"_

_"He can't be called your dad." I said very stubbornly, the way he has grown accustomed to,_

_"Whys that, he is my dad, Kens, I only had one dad," He was getting confused by my answer but I knew he would, weakly smiling at him, though a smile non the less,_

_"He's not your dad. A dad would be excited to hear that his wife was having a child of his, a man who would stay up into the wee hours of morning holding his wife's hand as she went through labor, and not hesitating to hold his son for the first time. He would pick you up when you fell down, not push you down, he would catch you if you fell from the tree fort in the backyard, and he would most certainly not hit you or blame you or your mother. He is just your father, your biological father, but he is not your dad," _

_I really hope he understood what I was laying down in front of him._

_"Wow, Kens, just...wow" He looked astonished at me that I had come up with advice that didn't suck, mine usually does, more frequent than not._

_"Yeah, your not the only one with witty comments," I stuck my tongue out at him, teasing him, pestering him, just to make him feel sort of better._

_I didn't know weather or not he was going to continue but he answered my thought by telling me about Gordon John Brandel, the man he mentioned in the case where he was shot._

_"Gordon John Brandel. That's the name of my father," _

_"Wait isn't that the man that you..." he cut me off,_

_"Yeah, they are one in the same person, He was playing with a shotgun claiming that he was going to kill my mom if she didn't bear him a third child, a girl this time, so he could have more 'fun'..." Wait did he just say third? And seriously I'm going to find Gordon John Brandel and murder his ass for what he put Marty through._

_"Third? Wait you have a sibling? How old is he or she?" I was listing off questions about this child that was his younger sibling._

_"Yeah, a brother, he is ten years younger than I am, he was born on May 31st, his name is Damien Anthony Deeks, yes when I changed my last name, I made him change his to Deeks as well. He and I were put into foster care and I refused to let anyone take my not even a year old baby brother away from me. I took care of him until this nice lady, Ms. Chadwick adopted us into her family, I was twelve and Damien was just about a year and a half. From there life was easy, I passed High School and got a scholarship to Harvard Law. I quickly got bored of lawing, as I called it, and then I joined LAPD, and now here I am," He finished his story with a smile. I had tears in my eyes. _

_"Wait, wheres Damien?" I questioned, he is Deeks' little brother after all,_

_"Oh hes living in San Diego with his wife, Renee and daughter, who is about one year, her name is Rosella. She is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen" He said with the grin I had grown to love. I wish I could meet them. I sighed,_

_"Deeks?"_

_"Thank you, for telling me this and I am sorry that you had to go through that, just remember, I got your back," He beamed back at me, nodding his head while pulling me in closer to him._

_"And I've got yours"_

_-Flashback End-_

* * *

I smiled at the memory of Deeks telling me the last line.

I rung my hair out as I looked at the clock, my eyes widen at the time. I had one hour left until the date,

_'Lets do this thing'_ I thought to my self as I busied myself with getting ready. I ended up wearing my favorite dress, the one that make ass look amazing, though there was a slight problem with the dress. It is the one I wore on the case today, I shuddered at the thought of the slimballs hands all over my thighs, it was discusting. And my hair was slightly curled and I had put on just the right amount of make up, not to light and not to heavy. My hoop earrings and then my favorite pair of black heals, and I was ready to go

_Knock Knock Knock_

That must be Marcus picking me up. I walk to the door and open the window to see him. I see him so I open the door,

"Hey handsome, wow Hallie was right you are handsome," He smiled at me

"Well those picture of you beating the crap out of one of the officers during one of your boxing matches, does not do you justice, you're way more gorgeous in person" He flashed his seemingly perfect teeth in a dashing smile,

I swooned at the sight of his dashing smile, I couldn't help it but it seemed as though this date was going to go very wrong but I did have a bite or two of the leftovers in my fridge, so its probably that.

"Lets go handsome," I smiled at him as I grabbed my purse and closed the door.

We hopped into his corvette and sped off to the restaurant that he had reservations to.

But I just couldn't get rid of this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that something very, very bad was going to go down tonight.

* * *

So theres chapter two!

**Okay so I know that I said in the A/N things about Kensi and Deeks well I thinking about making the part with the date and Jack in the next chapter then her running to Deeks the one after and Im thinking about adding another few characters, like Angel, but I dont know and yes I know Angel died so probably going WHHAAAAHH? but dotn worry ive got it allll figure out...mostly :)**

**I hope you all enjoy the story so far !**

**-Preview for next chapter in TINAGT-**

"Jack?" I was in complete shock. Why was he here and why now. I just have to know.

"Kensi, I'm so sorry, Babe," He tried to use his old nickname for me to get me to open up and fall for his trap, it wasn't going to work, not this time.

"No Jack, no your not, now leave." His eyes turned black, and I knew I was in for some deep trouble.

"NO? Kensi remember what happened last time?" I shrunk back in fear, my walls were down and there was no one to save me.

**-End Preview-**

Okay so there you have it Second Chapter in TINAGT

Please review it I worked really hard on the ideas and plot for the up coming chapters and this one as well

I love all the comments and I hope I keep you all interested, let me know ideas that you have and I might include them, PM me questions that you might not want to put in the review box, thats fine too.

Okay sooooo it is like 11 here and I am tired sooooo

Night and stay tuned for more chapters coming up :)!

LOvE

ROsIe 3


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